Palaven Holly
by solarlunarxiii
Summary: Holly's parents have yet to hear his secret. As a child raised on the Asari planet of Thessia, son of the most famous war heroes of all time, there's no room for anything out of the ordinary. But behind Holly's embarrassment is an everlasting longing for a completely different race that is out of his reach- Turians. To end the guilt, Holly must find the courage to accept himself.


There was a filtered muffle coming through the chrome door that Holly was sitting. Holly's nerves were twitching, palms were sweating, and foot was tapping rapidly on the floor like a woodpecker. Holly knew exactly why he was sitting there, and why his parents were both on the other side of the bright, flawless automatic door.

He was able to pick up the important parts of the conversation. "Thank you two for coming. I am happy that we have this chance to talk." Said an eloquent Asari woman who Holly recognized as his teacher- Professor Yngrid.

"We were happy to come." Holly's mother, Commander Shepard replied as solid and polite as she had always.

Holly heard the sound of Professor Yngrid's creaky chair as she leant on her desk. Holly thought back to all the days he was summoned to her office because he took a bathroom pass and never returned to class. "Right… I've called you both in here because I am very considered about your son. I worry for his emotional health, and his comfortableness at this school.

"Yes…we have noticed as well." Replied Holly's other parent, Dr. Liara T'soni. "He has been acting very strange and distant to the both of us as well."

"- Liara and I supposed that he just was entering into his teenage years." Shepard replied, her voice very soft and respectful to Holly's middle school professor.

"That could be… _partially _the reason… But I have my own opinions—as a childcare provider." Professor Yngrid in her soft, wise tone.

Holly attended one of the best secondary schools on Thessia. His entire life he was told he had the best opportunities to any child living on the Asari home planet. He knew how important his parents were— the courageous Commander Shepard who fought and saved billions of lives from the enormous reaper invasion, and the renowned doctor Liara T'soni who assisted in finding the answers to the extinction of the Protheans. He heard their story thousands of times, and knew that much was expected of him to continue their legacy and change the galaxy as they have.

"We're open to hearing whatever you think would help him." Liara responded calmly. Holly could hear her concern in her parent's voice—he didn't know he had worried them so much.

Professor Yngrid made another creak in her chair. "Today in class, since it is a Friday, I decided to let the class sit back and watch a movie for the remainder of the day as a reward for completing the assignment early."

"-What movie did you show?" Shepard asked.

-I played an Asari production of Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet." Professor Yngrid answered bluntly. Holly knew that tone, it was tone she was using when she wanted them to infer what she was hinting at on their own. A knot cringed in Holly's stomach.

"I see…" Liara said quietly, sounding concerned and troubled. Holly's other mother remained silent.

Holly knew in that instance that they knew exactly what was going on. Her parents were extremely smart—growing up Holly could never get away with a single white lie, or keep a secret for too long. He knew it wasn't before the secret he had been keeping for so long was revealed.

Professor Yngrid continued, "In the scene where Romeo and Juliet shared their first kiss together, Holly asked to be excused to the restroom almost instantly. I could sense the sad, dark aura surrounding his eyes when he left the classroom. That's when I knew it was probably time I call you two in."

"Has Holly acted like this before?" Asked his mother, Shepard.

"Yes. Ever since the school returned from the winter recess, his personality has changed dynamically. Did anything… _happen_ during that break?"

There was a short pause. Holly could imagine it was probably Liara thinking with her hand on her chin. Liara soon responded, "No…No I don't think so. Our old squad all came together for Christmas like we do every year… and we have started to let Holly leave the house on his own and go to the mall to spend his allowance. But he spent most of his vacation at home, we were watching him."

"I see." Professor Yngrid replied. "When did you two start to see these changes?"

"I did start to see it start to develop towards the end of winter break." Shepard replied, "Sorry honey I had thought you had caught on also. He spent a lot of time in his room, and he only came out to eat meals."

Liara giggled, "I guess I'm not as proficient in humans as I would like to believe."

"If I may—" Professor Yngrid interjected, leaning back on her desk. Holly gulped, nervous at what she was about to say. "I believe we all can see what is happening with Holly. Recently a lot of the _older _students have started to bloom relationships with each other. Holly _is _the only human attending Vista Academy."

"So you think maybe he's just…lonely?" Shepard inquired politely.

"That is what I think, I'm afraid. I think Holly has started to envy the couples walking around campus and holding hands. He is a shy child, and he has hardly any friends at the school from what I've seen. It is a very concerning predicament…"

Holly heard her mother Liara let out a very concerning sigh. "We both feared this sort of situation occurring when we chose to raise our child here on Thessia. We both knew it was only a matter of time, knowing his age and all…"

The knot in Holly's stomach kept pressing into him, and his head started to ache. He was embarrassed that they were having this conversation about him. The worst part was that they were wrong- Holly had no interest in the Asari at his school, or even another human. All he wanted to do at that moment was bury his head in a mountain of sand and never come out like a shy ostrich.

"The one thing we thought would be best was naming him a female-androgynous name. We never knew his real name, so we thought it would be easier to blend in if his name didn't stand out that much among the people. Plus we both thought it fit him." Shepard said quietly. Even she was worrying for Holly.

"Where is he originally from, if I may ask?" Professor Yngrid asked.

"We adopted him from a human colony, Feris Fields. He was among a few of the survivors of the terrible collector attack they faced many years ago. He is a miracle…" Liara said. Holly had no memory of his family before he was taken in by Liara and Shepard. It didn't bother him as much, knowing his parents were the heroes that took revenge on the terrible race that took his birth family.

Growing up in the Asari planet didn't bother Holly as much as they were insinuating. Holly was comfortable around the Asari—the race had never given him much grief for just being who he was. His parents were concerned he would feel like a fish out of water, which he did at some times, but that wasn't nearly half of what was bothering him. The problems he was facing went far beyond Thessia, in a corner of the galaxy he could never reach.

Professor Yngrid was right. Every day when Holly walked down the halls of Vista Academy, he saw dozens of happy Asari couples holding hands and kissing. Holly envied their happiness—the warm feeling they had between each other when they felt each other's touch. But he didn't want that with an Asari, and he didn't want that with a human. Holly lived every day with an embarrassing longing for something that was out of his reach- and always has been since the day he first saw one. Holly yearned for a race that didn't even reside on Thessia- the courageous and handsome Turians.

Holly was ashamed of his infatuation with heroes of Palaven. As a little baby he remembered all the fun adventures he used to have with his big Uncle Garrus—from the time he was a toddler he always told his parents how much he wanted to grow up and be just like him, and go on tons of adventures and shoot targets on top of buildings at the Citadel. He was incredibly close with his Uncle Garrus, for whatever reason they had a very close bond. He was like a father to Holly.

But as time went on, Holly started seeing other Turians on TV—and recently, Holly at started seeing them in magazine data-pads. As much as it was embarrassing to Holly every time he purchased the latest issue of "Turian Men Weekly" at the supermarket, he couldn't help himself. Not only did Holly know that he was gay—but he wasn't even in love with his own species.

The conversation in the office continued on, Holly hadn't been listening but it wasn't easy to lend his ear back into the room. "- I think from what I've seen of Holly in the classroom," Professor Yngrid said, "It would be healthy for him to branch out and meet some more kids his age, perhaps outside of school."

"I like that idea." Liara answered.

"Professor, do you know of any events going on inside or outside of the school we could take Holly to?" Shepard asked, "Liara and I want to do anything we can to help him."

Holly knew how much his parents cared about him. There was never a doubt in his mind that they always had his best interest at heart, but he just couldn't admit to them his shameful confession. Even though his parents were two women_, _both of different species, he couldn't bear the thought of letting them down by being such an abomination. Human and Asari were one thing, but humans and Turians? It was just unheard of.

Professor Yngrid replied, "There are many new school clubs sprouting this month at school. I will try my best to get Holly interested in one of these, perhaps meet some new people. In the meantime, isn't his birthday coming up? Why not throw him a party? I'm sure that will cheer him up."

"Oh, yes, we were planning on that this weekend actually." Liara stated, nodding her head.

"He is going to be 15," said Shepard, "Isn't that old enough to go into strip clubs on some planets? That should relieve some tension."

"Not funny, Shepard." Liara scolded, to which Shepard let out a small laugh. "I think that's a wonderful idea, Professor."

"I'm glad you think so." She replied. "I won't take up any more of your time. I'm pleased to see we're all on the same page for your son."

"Thank you for bringing this to our attention." Liara stated politely. "We'll have a talk with Holly tonight and see what we can do to help him."

"Splendid" said the teacher. Holly heard all of the adults in the office stand up and the doors squeaking as they etched across the floor. There were faint mumbles and murmurs coming towards the door along with the sound of footsteps. Holly knew they were coming out, so he adjusted his posture and looked down at the floor, acting natural so it didn't look like he was eavesdropping.

The automatic steel doors slid open quickly, and Holly turned his head slowly to his parents who emerged from the office with smiles to greet Holly who looked back at them with a nervous, anxious face. Holly's mother Shepard looked at him and asked, "Ready to go?"

Holly gave a nod, getting up from the bench he was sitting and standing in between his parents.

"Have a good day, Professor." Shepard waved to Holly's teacher who remained inside his office. Holly shared a nodding goodbye with his teacher before his parents led him off into the hallway. Liara's motherly hand was placed on his shoulder, and Shepard was walking close next to him on his other side. Holly stayed quiet, trying to pretend he didn't hear anything that they had talked about and had no idea why they were called in.

The silver coated hallways were still stretching on for a while. Holly knew he had to break the ice somehow or else his parents would likely ask him something he didn't want to answer. So thinking up the first thing that came to his mind he asked, "So, how was the parent-teacher conference?" As soon as he said it, he knew he sounded like an idiot for asking.

"It went well, I think." Shepard replied.

"I agree." Liara said, smiling down on Holly who was walking close by her—clinging to her naturally.

Holly nodded, not knowing what to say after that. He knew he could play dumb and pretend he couldn't hear them, a million possible questions came to mind, but he felt better just remaining silent to avoid causing problems.

Shepard looked down at Holly and touched his other shoulder, "Your teacher told us you left class today and didn't come back. How come?"

Holly got goose bumps at the question and felt his mind stand still. What could he say? That he left because he didn't to start crying like a baby to a Shakespeare play? Holly wanted to do anything he could to prolong them talking about his loneliness that Professor Yngrid planted in their minds. "I…figured since we were watching a movie it wouldn't be too important. I'm sorry."

"Everything in school is important, dear." Liara said to her son. "And learning Shakespeare will make you ten times more culturally fluent. There's nothing better than a wonderfully performed play…"

"True," Shepard said, "Unless it's 'Elcor presents: Hamlet', then you can ditch class as long as you want." She said, winking at Holly and making him admit a laugh.

The family exited the building and was met quickly by their bright red vehicle waiting right at the front parking lot. Shepard reached into the pocket of her pants and pulled out the keys, which with one click made the roof of the car fly open. Holly took his usual place in the backseat, and fastened his seatbelt tight until the three of them were closed in and Shepard started the car and they lifted into the air.

Now they were alone, Holly feared for the worse. But all he had to do was survive this car ride and he could hightail from the car straight to his bedroom at the top floor of the house, and avoid talking to his parents for the majority of the night. He loved being around his parents, which made what he was going through even more difficult with the fear that they would outcast him as a freak.

To Holly's dismay however, he knew the car ride couldn't go without any conversations. Liara turned her head from the shotgun and looked at Holly, who had his head leaned up against the window watching all the other cars fly by him. "Holly, if there's something you want to tell us, we will understand. We understand it can't be very easy growing up on Thessia, but-"

"No, mom I love Thessia." Holly interrupted, wanting to change the subject incredibly bad. "I just want to worry about my Birthday coming up."

Liara sighed in her seat, "Holly…"

"Oh that's right!" Shepard said excitedly, "Your party is this Saturday, bud. That should be pretty fun. Say Liara, has anybody recently RSVP'd?"

Liara queued up her orange shimmering omni-tool in her arm and started to pull up a data pad from inside. Holly couldn't see what it said with so many words and numbers flowing down so quickly. He always though omni-tools looked cool, but he hadn't been old enough to receive one yet. Liara read off the list, "Let's see… as of today we've gotten replies from Miranda, Kaiden and Grunt all with a yes. Besides that, most of the list has replied pending Admiral Hackett and Samara."

"Oh, I wouldn't count on Samara replying too soon." Shepard laughed, "She usually comes to these kind of events but never tells anybody. As for Hackett-"

Holly sighed, "Mom, really? Hackett? At my birthday party…?"

Liara turned her head back to Holly and grinned, "Sweetie you know Admiral Hackett is a close family friend of ours. Your mother and I-"

Holly knew his mom was going to go into a story of how Hackett saved their lives, so he just nodded to avoid conflict and said to her "Ok, I understand." Holly was very close to a lot of his parent's old squad mates, but many of them were intimidating to approach (mostly the Krogans, Holly was especially afraid of making one of them angry). Though Holly didn't have much of any friends growing up, he was happy with the turn out for his Birthday.

But Holly had to ask while they were on the subject, "Mom, Uncle Garrus is coming, right?"

Shepard laughed, and a grin went across her face. "Oh of course he is. In fact he was the first one to return to return the email."

An excited smile emerged from Holly's dull mood. It was the best news he had heard all day. Garrus was always one of those few close relatives of his that always came to the major events in his life all the way from Palaven. The other being his Aunt Jack, who was teaching at a biotic academy far off in another nebula. They were there for all of his birthday parties, his primary school graduation, and every single one of this piano recitals he had twice a year. Holly knew they always had his back.

"I think Garrus even said he was going to come down Friday night." Liara grinned, "He said he was going to pick you up after school and the two of you can spend the day together."

"Really?!" Holly shouted with energy. "Wow! That's a birthday gift on its own!"

His parents both laughed and looked at each other with smiles. Holly was happy to have something to look forward to get him through the rest of the week. He hadn't seen Garrus in almost a year since he had been so busy with his own family on Palaven. At that point all of his problems just lifted off of his shoulders.

The car ride came to stop, and Shepard parked the vehicle in front of their house. Holly's home was one of the nicest on Thessia, mostly thanks to his parents. The building was coated with fine Asari craftwork, built out of strong yellow steel and brick. It was a giant three stories tall, with a giant tower-like bedroom a hair over the roof like a chimney. That was Holly's bedroom, and the place he was planning on bolting too.

Holly walked to the house door which recognized his DNA and opened the doors to allow him inside. He instinctively went straight for his personal elevator down the long hallway that led to his bedroom. Walking inside, he lifted straight into the air in mere seconds. His room was normal sized, nothing too extravagant—the only thing added for Holly's specific needs was a grand piano that rested on a raised area by the window. Sometimes, at night, Holly just liked to sit and play music while watching the stars.

But what excited Holly most at that time was plopping down on his bed straight away and reading the latest issue of "Turian Men Weekly" that just published its routine Monday issue. He sat down on his king sized bed and opened up the data-pad he purchased with his allowance weeks ago hidden under his pillow. It was his prized possession, along with subscription to his guilty pleasure magazine (under the alias "Shelby Smith", as Holly Shepard was too obvious.)

Holly flipped open the latest magazine instantly. The first thing he saw was the handsome Turian celebrity Jango Varen in a black tuxedo, posing with the same jaw-dropping face Holly had seen so many times. He was pleased to see him back on the cover of this week's issue, the last week's issue was an anniversary of Saren Arterius's defeat by his mother.

Holly rushed through the pages of the magazine with delight on every page. The magazine wasn't anything dirty or rude, it was all classy and sophisticated Turian men posing in the latest men's fashion. The only dirty issue was in a few weeks—the _summer _fashion edition. He flipped pages on the data pad with his finger, reading articles and interviews with people in the Turian fashion industry, the latest movie stars, and even more exciting were the recent couples emerging in the Turian media. Holly was probably the only person on Thessia who subscribed to this magazine and paid attention to the news on Palaven.

Holly would do anything to meet his idols from the magazine in real life. ESPECIALLY Jango Varen—the hottest actor on the planet. What amazed Holly so much about him was his kindness. In all of the interviews he's read of him promoting his movies, not one hasn't passed Holly's mind as pure intellectual poetry. All the ladies on Palaven went nuts for him and so did Holly, the teenage boy living far away on Thessia.

Jango had tons of photos scattered around the magazine. He was promoting his new movie "Starlights", a motion picture about a militia of Turian soldiers who crash landed on earth in the Gobi desert during the First Contact War. Holly had been saving money for _weeks _so he could go see the movie in theatres before it went away. He had never seen a Jango Varen movie on the big screen before.

Suddenly, Holly hear the elevator to his bedroom start to go back down, which meant one of his parents was coming up. He hastily shut off his data pad and shoved it back under his pillow, and laid down flat on his bed looking at the ceiling trying to act natural.

The Elevator came up in mere seconds, and Holly's mother Liara walked into his room with a plate in her hand. She had her apron on, which meant she had just made some dinner and was bringing to Holly so he didn't have to come down. "Holly, I made you some Macaroni and Cheese with cut up hot dogs—your favorite."

Holly sat up and grinned at his mother, who sat down on the bed next to him and put the meal by his side. Holly could tell that she wanted to tell him something by the concerned look in her eye. He put his arms around his legs and looked at her nervously, waiting for her to say something. "Honey, I can sense that something is troubling you. I may not be a human but I am still your mother."

"Nothing is bothering me, mom." He answered her quietly.

"Right, you say that, but I know it just isn't true." Liara said, standing up and crossing her arms. She looked over Holly with a very unimpressed face. "I don't think it's fair to jump to conclusions, but I have to ask, is there a _real _reason that you left the movie today? Did something in the film…bother you?"

Holly shook his head rapidly. "No mom, I already told you I just figured it wasn't very important to watch. And I apologized…"

"I know you did, sweetie. And I forgive you." She said tenderly, sitting back down and putting her arms around Holly, giving him a sweet comforting hug. "It's just I worry that…recently you've started to may have… _feelings_. And you should know that it's a perfectly natural thing-"

"W-What?" Holly exclaimed, turning away slightly. He didn't want this conversation to go on, he just couldn't tell his mother how he really felt as much as it pained him.

Liara sighed, "You're at the age where you might start to have… attractions to other students in your class. And that's ok, you shouldn't be ashamed of that. It is a perfectly natural thing, you spend a part of your life trying to find the one person that makes you happy and when you do… it just _clicks_, like a chain to a bicycle. And who knows, maybe it'll be one of the cute girls in your class?"

Holly just wanted to throw up thinking about the snot nosed and rude Asari teenagers in his class. He didn't want to have anything to do with them. He was often made fun of in class for being shy or not having any friends, and the last thing he wanted to do was get in a _relationship _with them. "No, mom…I don't want any of that. I'm fine, you don't need to worry about me so much. I promise."

There was no response at first. Liara rubbed Holly's brown hair and touched his face. She leaned in and gave him a loving peck on the check and stood up from the bed and pushed the hot plate of macaroni and cheese towards Holly. "Good night, sweetie." She said warmly, cueing the elevator to take her back down to the first floor.

It pained Holly to have to hide something from her parents. But right now he it just wasn't the right time. Holly took a bite of his meal, and almost started to cry thinking about how worried he was making his parents just because he was too afraid to tell them how he felt. He didn't want to see them hurt, they had done so much for him in his life that he couldn't bear to hurt them. But he feared that if he told them anytime soon, he would hurt them even more than they did not knowing.


End file.
